dancing on the kitchen floor

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:53:43 GMT

How is it possible to feel so tired even though I haven't done anything all day? My life has turned into an endless rut. God knows I love Christian more than anything and that I'm so, so happy that we're living together, but I am just so tired of being unemployed and having my life revolve around household chores. Seriously, here is a look at a typical day for me:

8:30AM - Wake up, check the weather
9:00AM - Christian goes to work
9:01AM to 4:30PM - Look online and apply for jobs, watch mindless television, load and empty dishwasher, vaccuum, throw in 1 or 2 loads of laundry, feed the cat, make the bed, pick up livingroom, kitchen, bedrooms and bathroom, figure out what's for dinner.
4:30PM - Christian comes home, takes a shower, I pick up clothes and towels discarded on bedroom or bathroom floor
5:30PM - Make dinner, eat
6:30PM to 11:00PM - Watch a movie, harass the cat, watch more mindless television, smoke, watch Christian lose at Xbox
11:00PM - I pass out in bed, while he comes in somewhere around midnight or a bit later.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

It is the same thing every day with the exception of possibly going over my parent's house to do laundry or spontaneously rearraging the livingroom furniture. I am exhausted. At first, I could handle it and even enjoyed it to a certain extent. It gave me the rush of being able to take care of things and prove to myself and him that I am a responsible adult despite not having a job. Now, it's just such an endless cycle that I almost feel like a zombie.

I never imagined that trying to find work, whether full-time or part-time, would be so difficult. Just yesterday alone I must have applied to at least 8, both in my area and out of state, and yet I'm not getting anything. It feels like one giant conspiracy against me ever since I left the Wentworth. I was getting anywhere from 2 to 6 offers a month up until 4 months ago and suddenly it's abruptly stopped. Something better change before I lose my mind.

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 23:50:16 GMT

LOL

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 23:49:12 GMT

<img src="http://i33.tinypic.com/8xssvo.jpg">

LOL

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 13:57:55 GMT

My Halloween costume this year was thrown together in less than 10 minutes and may be the greatest I have ever worn.

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 23:02:50 GMT

Oh Lord, have I been missing in action lately. Things have been crazy at home with trying to find a job, apartment, etc, etc, etcccccc. I feel like my brain is going to explode from all the stress.

Christian successfully moved up here about...well, a month ago exactly as of today. Things have gone well, like we both expected, with the exception of my parents being overcontrolling about everything we do. I suppose some of it is justified ("their house, their rules"), but it has nonetheless driven us both batshit insane. We got approved for an apartment today, so we're due to move in August 1st. Christian landed a job the second day he moved up here, while I've been strugglin'. I had three interviews for a Director of Sales position with a major hotel over the last 4 weeks and they still haven't made up their goddamn minds of who to hire. I ended up landing a job doing front desk at a Holiday Inn and started today - only to quit 3 hours later. Fuuuuuck that. I am not standing around for 8 hours at a whack, putting papers in numerical order, and having a permanent smile planted on my face for $9/hour. Apparently that's what my bachelor's degree is worth? I caved when I got home this afternoon and sent an email out to my old employer at the Canada tour operations place and so I have no doubts that I'll be back up in the tiny office by the end of the week doing pointless errands and explaining over and over that I have never been to Montreal, Toronto, or any other Canadian city. But shit, for about $15/hour, I'll handle it.

Uh. I think that's it. Christian is moved up, we're getting our own place, I set the record for shortest job ever held, and I'm getting in touch with my Canadian roots.

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 02:16:57 GMT

"Fix You" by Coldplay seems to sum up things between Christian and I up best; that no matter what happens, we'll always be there for eachother to make everything work. Although right now there issue of distance is something we'd both like to fix but can't for 2 more weeks, maybe less.

I'm back up in New Hampshire while he's training his replacement in Providence. He doesn't want to be there by any means as evident by the stream of sappy text messages we've been sending back and forth since I left on Thursday. God, it's only been 3 days? I feel...pathetic a bit for already missing him so much and while I've been telling myself that two weeks is nothing it still seems so daunting. I know the fact that we spent nearly every day together over the last few weeks surely didn't ease the separation.

This sort of seems like a running theme for our relationship, huh? Things get going, then dud out, then back up again, then flounders, and then now - going fantastic and then halted. Though now it's the circumstances and reality of things rather than him being dumb and trying to avoid getting caught up in things. Also, I can't help but wonder where we would be had he realized how ideal we are for eachother four or five months ago instead of two. In the same place? I actually think we would've probably been shacking up in Providence instead of here, which probably would've resulted in us being stagnant and near-broke for the next several months or year, so I'm glad that we're hurrying up and moving forward. It's funny though, as of lately the only thing I've been sure of is him. I used to have everything so mapped out, but now I know that as long as I have him there by my side, things will end up great.

You need his balls for what, exactly?

Wed, 21 May 2008 19:52:38 GMT

Christian and I had our first minor issue last night and while I'm nearly over it, I have a looming feeling that it's going to be stuck in the back of my head for awhile.

He dated his ex-girlfriend on and off throughout high school and periodically fooled around with her throughout college as well as recently as this past December. I don't have an issue with that, especially since we weren't serious and just starting to get things going with figuring out what we wanted. The issue that I find a bit odd and clingly is that she calls him daily. She makes a point of it to call when her boyfriend (who she is living in) is not around since apparently he isn't too fond of the idea, and while I have no right to pick and choose who he talks to I can't helped but be a bit bothered by it.

Last night he went to go switch over his laundry at my place down the hallway and she called when he was heading out the door. After a few minutes I could hear him in the hall still talking to her and 15 minutes later he walked in to my apartment. I told him that while I understand him wanting to be considerate about being on the phone in front of me, I still would prefer that if he's discussing things about us that he not slip away to where he thinks he can't be heard. I've dealt with way too many shady exes to shake the trust issue I have, and while I trust him it's her I don't trust.

I mentioned to him that her checking in periodically is fine - Ben and I do that - but there's got to be another reason why she phones him every 24 hours. In my opinion it's because she's jealous that he's moved on, and although she herself has gotten into another relationship, he's been the male constant in her life so the fact that she isn't thought about as the top female is annoying her. And also the idea that having sex or fooling around with him again is out of the question. Christian had always told me "No, that's not it - yeah she's jealous, but she doesn't want me".

Well last night he totally ate his words. She was complaining about how she won't get to see him again when he moves, that he won't talk to her, etc. He told her that wasn't true, blah, blah, blah, and that if that does happen she can kick him in the balls. Her response? "No, I won't do that because I'm going to need them someday"....Excuse me? What was that? I ask him what he said back to her and he states that all he did was laugh "uncomfortably". Ok fine. At least he didn't agree, right? I told him that I would have rathered have him say something to remind her that, hello, he is in a relationship that doesn't include her. Even something like "Haha I don't think my girlfriend would exactly approve of that" would have sufficed.

We then have a big discussion (with Ashley on speakerphone) about how I don't have to trust her, only him, nothing is going to happen, how my trust level is shot due to the shit I have dealt with in the past, etc. I have a distinct feeling that she is going to be super phony when I meet her, but I'm just planning on killing her with kindness and being as close to perfection as possible to show her that I'm not threatened by her and that she will never get close to his junk ever again.

My boyfriend will hot-wire your car and steal it.

Sun, 18 May 2008 16:41:28 GMT

Because he's black. HEY I'M DATING HIM SO I CAN MAKE THOSE JOKES. Nothing like starting things off than a little racism. Ahhh, I love the smell of discrimination in the morning. It smells like victory.

This is me:

I have short blonde hair, green eyes, and big boobs. Chances are I'm probably taller than you, coming in at 5'10. If it weren't for my gimpy knee and the fact that I love beer and pizza, I could own your ass on the runway. My blog site http://wtfhesmarried.blogspot.com chronicles all of my dating mayhem and I frequently update when I'm inebriated, so it's always a good read. My posts here are sporactic at best though hopefully that will be changing with a sudden upswing in motivation.

My best friend in the world is Ashley and she will stab you if I tell her to. That's just how we roll. She's going to be my baby's daddy some day and will take our kid to the zoo and avoid thrift stores at all costs.

I'm super into music and traveling so I hope to combine the two somewhere along the way. I just recently graduate from college here in Rhode Island and will be returning home to good ol' New Hampshire for three months with boyfriend in tow to save up money before embarking on a worldwide take over with Ashley.

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:48:21 GMT

Long time, no update. Let's break things down a bit:

School is winding down, thank God. I have about 4 weeks...oh shit, 3 weeks left before graduation, but with Microecomonics looming over my head I'm either going to test out, take it for 4 weeks in June, or take it as a night class from June to August. Depending on the job situation, it's hard to figure out how it's going to go.

I had a phone interview with a concierge/travel agency company Circles in Boston this morning and it went extremely well. I was bringing Christian (more on that later) to work but by the time the phone rang I was in the parking lot. He stayed in the car while I talked to the hiring manager for 15 minutes and Christian thinks I got it hands down. The company specializes with high end companies like Pepsi and books extravagant trips for the head honchos. They're opening up an office in London in the next few months and everyone has the option to relocate if they wish. I have a second interview for an operations manager/coordinator with a UK tour company based in LA this afternoon at 4, but unless they offer relocation assistance, my parents or I hit the lottery, I'm not sure how feasible it will be to pack up everything and head out West. Cue the Will Smith song.

Christian and I have been in a serious, committed relationship for over a month now and things are going fantastic. We've passed the "I love you" mark, which might sound like rushing it, but considering we've been friends for over a year and a half, have messed around since last April, and "dating" since January, it seemed like a natural progession of things for us. He's game for moving where ever I end up, although if I take the Boston job, I have an inkling that we'll be moving in together within the next few months. His roommate Palios is taking a job with American Cruise Line in August, so Christian will have to find a new place no matter what. For graduation he's decided to put my travel planning expertise to the test and have me plan a trip for the two of us; right now Ocho Rios or Negril Jamaica is looking to be the best bet. God knows all we'll be doing is being disgustingly cute, laying on the beach, and drinking so an all-inclusive resort is the goal.

When I brought him to work this morning he mentioned that he talked with Palios about us and what was going on, and upon hearing that we're already exchanging I love you's asked if things were moving too fast. Christian stated what I just wrote about the timeline of things and also said that he can see us together years and years from now so why wait. He then said that he can't imagine anything happening that would break us up, which I completely agree, and I couldn't help but smile at the fact we're on the same page and neither one of us is too afraid to admit it. With Ross and Matt it seemed like months ahead of time I knew I wanted out of the relationship, that I could almost bet on things never working out no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise. With Christian, on the other hand, it just seems so right and as he said this morning, 'things are only going to get better and better'.

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 22:34:20 GMT

Anyone still there?

I'm still causing a storm in Providence and finishing up my last 6 months of college - hurrah! I'm moving to either LA or London with Ash once I finish up, so our mayhem will continue on!

I made up a new blog a few months back detailing all the horrorific drama of my social/dating life, so check it out - wtfhesmarried.blogspot.com

There's a link to Ash's blog, as well as our friend Steven's tour journal, so you can catch up on all the Killers/Arctic Monkey and other concert info.

Happy New Year!

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 11:18:19 GMT

A new blog was in order due to recent events.

http://wtfhesmarried.blogspot.com/

Wed, 30 May 2007 17:50:15 GMT

HOLY CRAP.

I responded to a casting call on MTV about a True Life: I'm in a Long-Distance Relationship on a whim, and sent them an email detailing what was going on between Ross and I (no phone calls, wondering what's going on, etc) and the production assistant just called me back. So now I just have to get Ross onboard, but I think he'll be willing.

Mon, 21 May 2007 23:38:58 GMT

A gift - http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7KWYXKVY

Mika - "Love Today"
Album: "Life In Cartoon Motion" (2007)
Doom da da di da di
Doom da da di da di
da di da di doop doop

Everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today, gonna love today.
Everybody's gonna love today,
gonna love today.
Anyway you want to,
anyway you've got to,
Love love me,
love love me, love love.

I've been crying for so long,
Fighting tears just to carry on,
But now, but now, it's gone away.

Hey girl why can't you carry on,
Is it 'cause you're just like your mother,
Little tike, like to tease for fun,
Well you ain't gonna tease no other,
Gonna make you a lover.

Everybody's gonna love today,
love today, love today.
Everybody's gonna love today,
Anyway you want to,
anyway you've got to,
Love love me,
love love me, love love.
Girl with a groove with the big bust on,
Big bust on, big bust on.
Wait till your mother
and your papa's gone,
Papa's gone
Momma, momma papa,
shock shock me,
Shock shock me,
shock shock.

Everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today, gonna love today
I said, everybody's gonna love today,
gonna love today,
Anyway you want to, a
nyway you've got to,
Love love me,
love love me, love love.

Carolina sits on '95,
Give her a dollar
and she'll make you smile.

Hook her, book her,
nook her walk away!

Girl dresses like a kid for fun,
Licks her lips like they're something other,
Tries to tell you life has just begun,
But you know she's getting something other
Than the love from her mother

Everybody's gonna love today,
Love today, love today
Everybody's gonna love today,
Anyway you want to,
anyway you've got to,
Love love me,
love love me, love love.

Girl with a groove with the big bust on,
Big bust on, big bust on
Wait till your mother
and your papa's gone,
Papa's gone
Momma, momma papa,
shock shock me,
Shock shock me,
shock shock.

I said everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today, gonna love today
I said everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today,
Anyway you want to,
anyway you've got to,
Love love me,
ove love me, love love.

Doom da da di da di
Doom da da di da di
Doom da da di da di
Doom da da di da di
da di da di doop doop

Everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today,
gonna love today
Everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today,
Anyway you want to,
anyway you've got to,
Love love me, love love me, love love.

Doom da da di da di
Doom da da di da di
Doom da da di da di
Doom da da di da di
da di da di doop doop
Doom da da di da di
Doom da da di da di

Sun, 20 May 2007 21:32:42 GMT

Oh hello.

I've been looking through my photobucket and decided to share the ones which have brought Ashley and I the most LOL's.

ASHLEY PARTICIPATING IN AN EIFFLE TOWER WITH MEMBERS OF LXIV

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY THE PICTURE WHICH INSPIRERED ASHLEY

THE FOLLOWING IS A CONVERSATION DONE ON A MAGNADOODLE BY BRYAN AND JASON FROM LXIV TO JIMMY LXIV WHILE HE IS ON THE PHONE WITH ASHLEY

OH AND WE CAN'T FORGET ABOUT MARK

SO MUCH LXIV IMAGE BASHING

UNFORTUNATELY NO ONE ALTERED THIS IMAGE IN ANY WAY

THEN WE MOVED ON TO THE KILLERS

THEN AN APPEARANCE BY JET

FINALLY RESTING UPON A DEEP HATRED FOR AMBULANCE LTD

FIN

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 16:35:27 GMT

Where have I been?

An update is muchly needed, I think.

- Dumped Matt early September because
a. He was a pussy
b. I had been sick of him since July
c. I had met someone else
- He cried while I just sat there uncomfortably
- I have discovered what love actually is, and am never letting this one go because
a. We are too weird to be with anyone else (ex. spitting water at eachother while in the shower together or attempting to brush each other's teeth)
b. A week into being together and we were both enamoured
c. With my feelings for Matt vanishing early July, I waited long enough so Ross wasn't just rebound material
d. He's a cowboy. A 6-pack having, ass-hard-as-a-rock-thanks-to-16-years-of-soccer, whiskey-drinking, long-stem-red-rose-buying, "baby, I can't live without you", sap.
e. We've been together 3 months and have only had one blip of a problem
- School is school. I'll be done next November, thank apa
- I'm getting a cameraphone for Christmas
- I'm blonde
- I got my ears pierced
- The Killer's show in October was undoubtedly the highlight of my entire concert-going life. You know those moments where the entire crowd bonds during one particular song (think "Don't Look Back in Anger" during an Oasis show), well the crowd at The Killers held that bond from start to end.
- Last night I had a dream about Pete Doherty

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 02:04:19 GMT

NEVER TAKE A SHOT OF JACK DANIELS

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 22:12:22 GMT

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 16:54:56 GMT

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 18:42:24 GMT

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 15:49:37 GMT

SWIPED FROM Ashley's hipster blog.

I'll be travelling to New York City in a couple weeks to ring in my favorite season in style with the help of my fantastic friend Steven. Musical fuel, as stated- will be provided by the fabulous ( and adorable ) Arctic Monkeys, as well as the legends themselves, Radiohead.

After we're done painting the city that never sleeps red red red, we'll be heading back to Boston to wrap up the party with the help of the great, the foxy, the one and only Samantha Ryan, ( AKA- BFF4LYFE )- like true rock stars.

Scandalous, naughty behavior is bound to occur- so if you're under 18, have a heart condition, are pregnant or nursing, or suffer from "too uptight-itis"- this isn't for you.

Questions? Concerns? Suggestions? Drop a comment here.

And a word from me - NO HANGER-ONERS ALLOWED. THAT MEANS YOU SATAN. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Fri, 26 May 2006 01:51:02 GMT

DANCE PARTY

Thu, 25 May 2006 23:05:48 GMT

OH MY GOD

Mon, 22 May 2006 10:33:18 GMT

I keep having dreams about Ashley Parker Angel.

Fri, 12 May 2006 14:29:44 GMT

I'm not dead or kidnapped! Pictures by Tuesday!

Ashley - my phone charger blew up when I tried to plug it into the converter, so no texts from me until I get a new one :(

Thu, 04 May 2006 12:03:22 GMT

Bon Voyage!

I'm leaving for Munich in less than 12 hours, but will be leaving for Logan Airport in less than 6. I'll be back next Thursday, but probably no update until sometime that weekend.

Bye everyone! I love you!!